Steve Borelli is an editor and writer for USA TODAY. After 10 years of coaching his sons’ baseball teams and basketball teams, Steve now writes a column every week on sports parenting. The piece that follows is about being a good player (especially when you’re injured). Click here to view past columns.
This is a very important issue, which can have a significant impact on the athletic, social, and character development of every young athlete. No matter the situation, being a loyal and strong teammate will benefit them throughout adolescence.
In my interviews, the issue of encouraging our children to work together and play as a group is always brought up. This includes a recent interview I conducted with Pro Football Hall of Famer Calvin Johnson, and one that our video team conducted this week with LPGA sensation Rose Zhang.
As in the real world, sports and teamwork go beyond showing off your talents. Injury is the perfect way to teach our children to be strong teammates.
Three things to keep in mind to make the most of your situation
You can learn the most valuable quality from sports in youth by becoming a great teammate
What do you most remember about your childhood sporting career? What do you remember most fondly? Was it the number of games you won, the goals you scored, or home runs that you hit? Was it the fun you had with friends and teammates or how many games you won?
As parents, we all enjoy watching our children win. But the excitement of competing with teammates who share a common goal, is what we most enjoy.
Calvin Johnson, a father to three boys, says: “I believe there’s something special about being part of a team.” Team sports teach you more about yourself because you are working with others. Individual sports can be fun, but they don’t tell you as much about you.
Okay, your child is injured and can’t participate in the game. Does this mean that they are no longer part of the team? Would they want their teammates thinking that?
When your teammates see that you are there to support them, they will be more likely cheer you on when you play again. Ask the coach, or better yet, have your child ask the coach, if there’s anything he or they can do on game day. You could help out by coaching the base of a baseball team (please don’t use crutches or wear a helmet) or by keeping statistics on the sidelines.
In high school I was a pitcher who also charted or scored games when I wasn’t on the field. When I was pitching, my teammates did not think that I was any less a teammate. They supported me just as much as everyone else.
We can also absorb all the details and emotions of a game while we are watching it, without worrying how we will perform once we get there. We can see the joy our teammates experience when they score a goal, or make a basket. But we also know how hurt they are when they make mistakes. Consolate your teammate by telling him or her they will have another opportunity to contribute positively to the team. Your child will too.
Your child will carry the importance of teamwork throughout their lives
Our children reflect us. My father-in law once told me that he judged other adults less by their actions and more by the way they treated their children. We are proud of the kind of person our children are and what they will become as much as we are about their athletic ability.
Take Rose Zhang. Rose Zhang’s parents immigrated to Southern California from China. Haibin, her father, played many sports (tennis and badminton) with her before she chose golf. All of these sports had lessons. My wife and I both promote the idea that you should stick to your team or activity if you have committed for a whole season.
Zhang hasn’t forgotten who she is as she rose to stardom in winning the national championship at Stanford, to the top amateur golfers and to her first LPGA win.
She says, “They helped me develop a good culture as I grew up.” I’ve become the person that I am because of them. “I’ve been able to become the person I am through them.
In April, I contacted Stanford to ask if I could conduct an interview with Zhang after she had won the Augusta National Women’s Amateur Title. She declined, saying that she wanted to limit media opportunities for the time being so she could concentrate on playing with her Stanford teammates and being a Stanford student.
She says that she still has to be “a good daughter,” “a good sister,” and “a good friend.” “I think the most important thing they have (driven) me to do is to stay grounded and make sure I’m still a sane, normal person,” she adds.
Even if your child is not a player, you can still reinforce the lesson by being there even when they aren’t. We don’t become managers or supervisors when we begin our career. Our employers will trust us if we demonstrate that, in addition to our skills, we can work well with others.
The team element of sport is a favorite among elite athletes
You can explain the situation best to your child by using this statement. Ask your child to watch the sidelines at professional matches on television. You’ll often see injured stars standing by their teammates. In the first part of the NFL season we saw Travis Kelce from the Chiefs and Saquon Barkley from the Giants doing this.
When you watch athletes who are devoted to their own sport, they react with passion when they compete in team events like the Presidents Cup or Davis Cup. Zhang expressed her desire to join U.S. teammates at the Solheim Cup. This weekend, she’ll be playing in the Aramco Team Series at Hong Kong.
Zhang could have chosen to skip Stanford and become a professional. “I think that was what I wanted to do when I went to school and felt that this is the stepping stone I had to take myself. “I always wanted to be a part of something larger than myself. It was always in the back my mind.”
Your children will likely be playing less as their sporting careers progress. They may be an alternate or pitcher, but the camaraderie they feel as a teammate will remain the same.
Would you tell them not to show up because they don’t play or pitch much? You can be a great teammate whether or not they play.
Zhang says, “Even though i’m a person who is really competitive, i feel that being part of a group really tests me in all areas.” If you want to be a good leader, then you have to take the initiative. You need to be able to follow instructions. It’s also important to be considerate and work as a team. “These are skills that will last a lifetime.”
You can tell them that they will get better if they attend every game. It’s a proven method for pros.
